YOUR MARITAL HEALTH/SEX AND PROBLEMS OF DAILY LIVING: PERSONAL PLAY AND MARITAL PLEASURE: SPOUSEHOOD AND “SPERSONHOOD” – SOME SUGGESTIONS FOR IMPROVING RECREATIONAL TIME TOGETHER

Posted: May 18th, 2009 | Author: admin | Filed under: General health | No Comments »

Here are some suggestions for improving recreational time together.

1. Select an entirely new activity that neither one of you has ever done before, even in childhood. There are hundreds of possibilities.

2. Decide what type of recreation suits your “unit.” If one of you is very athletic and the other more artistic, the activity will have to stress other skills, leaving these for individual enjoyment.

3. Start the activity together and develop it together. If one or the other partner tends to “get ahead” in most things, make sure you leam together. This one activity is only for the two of you. You can still have your golf, tennis, running, or whatever other activity you may enjoy as an individual.

One wife reported, “We came up with something. It’s sailing. We both can’t swim, have never been on a boat, and don’t like the water. We couldn’t come up with anything, so we picked the one thing most unlike both of us. It’s working out slowly. He tried to be the captain and make me crew, but I think we worked that out after he fell off the boat while trying to tell me to be careful. There he was, mouth full of water, his captain’s hat floating beside him, and trying to tell me how to save him.”

4 Remember that individual activities are still important. One husband stated, “We have spouse activities that include tennis and walking. Then we have what we call ’sperson’ activities, individual things we do with other people. She golfs, I golf, but we’re at drastically different levels of ability there. I will never be the golfer she is, so we each enjoy it to our own level with other people more at our level.”

The marriage that plays together and plays separately is most likely to find super marital sex, for the joy and energizing aspects of fulfilling play can enter into the sexual relationship. As you consider this possibility, remember that a mutual involvement in a “mini-career” could also be a form of play. Noel Coward said, “Work is much more fun than fun.”

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